the story of a girl

and the voices in her head

22.10.2017.

She makes my skin crawl.

Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours.
Funny, he does the same things for you that he did for me.
You make me scream internally, in my head, and I'm the only one who hears it.
I'm trying real hard not to dislike you.
There's thunder outside tonight and I don't know when I started being afraid of it.
But here we are.

I keep doing bad things and promising I'm not bad.
And why is it always some random TV show that opens my eyes?
You know I gotta binge it now.
I don't know if I'm talking to myself anymore, or you, or someone else entirely.

You know, I was in your neighborhood today.
And that place you were trying to get a job at.
I'm not scared of seeing you anymore, although a little piece of me still freezes when there's an exceptionally tall guy in my peripheral vision.
It's never you, of course.
It's been 8 months now.
I had a crush on a girl! Bet you wouldn't believe that.
I deleted your number a while ago.
I wish someone would tell you I'm okay.
Not that you'd care, but you know.
I found peace.

Your new me still makes my skin crawl, though.

15.10.2017.

She's never satisfied.

Neizmjernu sreću sam osjetila kada sam nakon izlaska ispod tuša vidjela da ne moram ponovo lakirati nokte jer se ništa nije pokvarilo. Rijetko se to desi, a baš mi se nije dalo danas. Dosta što sam noge obrijala.
Treba da pročitam 18 stranica najdosadnijeg teksta koji sam ikada u životu uzela da čitam. Evo došla sam do šeste i namazala ruke kremom, pa lafo ne mogu dirati papire dok se ne upije. Ha. Moram se farbati uskoro, a baš mi je i to dosadilo. Stalno izrastak. Iako mi se sa ovom nijansom skoro i ne primijeti, osim kad mi je prljava kosa.
Never ending circle.
Kupila sam novu kremu za ruke, čekam da je prestanu proizvoditi.

Razmišljam o ljudima. Slušam Ophelia od Lumineersa i kontam ko je dao uraganu ime.
Ok, nemam više izgovora. Back to work.


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